Streams

I rode ~13km today on my bike. 4 or so on the highway. Scary.
Now, listening to Belle and Sebastian, It seems distant.
I wonder about this sometimes.
The way things are perceived.
What is it that makes a long-term impression?
Why do we sometimes remember the most inane things
while some events that we would think should make a bigger impression are so easily forgotten?
It is the subconscience that makes these decisions.
Not our conscious minds.
Otherwise, we would would not spend so much energy clinging to certain images we feel we can't live without.
I've done that. Hanging on to what I thought was important. Trying desperately not to loose it.
Then, I discover that it has been holistically set aside by something my conscious mind would have designated insignificant in the moment.
The reverse is also true.
And it is this that seems to be more the case for me.
Events that I would give anything to be rid of.
Yet they haunt me.
Constantly.
They say that time heals all wounds.
But time is a shoddy healer who ends up doing a patchwork job at best and does little to protect your vulnerabilities to new cuts and bruises.
I can't say that I'm a fan.
There is something to the passing of time though.
We flow.
We become something more than we were.
We get deeper.
We understand the world better.
We learn to heal our own wounds instead depending solely on the unsteady hands of the barely qualified civil war medic called time.
Our values change.
Our beliefs change to. Hopefully for the better.
Most of the time, not.
But I think we evolve during life.
Constantly changing.
How is up to us.
From the mountains to the sea.